Every bit of wisdom you need to deal with any issue is at your finger tips. In the google age there isn’t an excuse of I don’t know. I have been thinking of this a lot lately both since I am in the business of helping change happen for people and do strive to walk the talk myself and continue improving as an individual.
The big question is why don’t we deal with the problem and move on? I have been thinking of this too and here are my thoughts on why that might be.
- Maybe sometimes you just don’t want to know or aren’t ready to know. The courage and strength to tackle what you have in front of you maybe just isn’t there yet. Your mission here is to do what you need to get the courage (related to the next point too) and strength. This might mean down time, self care, or counseling. Put the required support in place as well as accountability to do it. Establish a reasonable time frame to accomplish this and take action.
- Fear. Change is scary. Even if it is a change that we think we really want getting there requires us to mess with the status quo, which you know, and regardless of what you think you think of your current situation it feels safer than the unknown. There are lots of manifestations of fear, a couple you might recognize are below:
- Rationalization. Your fear talks the problem “down” til you convince yourself there is nothing to worry about. Inaction then seems like the perfect, safe, practical solution(ha). The key here is to recognize when this is happening. A couple of indicators might be hiding things from those close to you (you know they will see through your argument), repeatedly being in a situation where you know change is required but then backing out, or refusal to talk about it or hear an opinion other than your own.
- Excuses. I don’t have the time, it will cost too much, it is the wrong time, there are lots of excuses and usually we can make a great case for all of them BUT think of the stories that inspire us. They are the ones that someone is driven and overcomes perceived odds to accomplish a goal. I’ll bet that what ever is in front of you someone with less resources and more challenges has accomplished it. This isn’t a criticism, we are all on our own path and our challenges are real. It is just that hiding behind them only gives them more power.
- Avoidance. I am good at this one, regularly busying myself with “must do” items so there is nothing left for the biggest item on my list. My suggestion? Each night before bed write a to do list for the next day. If something repeatedly appears on that list it gets dropped (it can’t be that important) or it becomes a priority item and MUST be done first, before anything else. In making the decision to drop or prioritize look to how you feel about either action. It will tell you whether you are still avoiding by dropping (does fear pop up when it becomes a priority?) or simply recognizing you have too much on your plate. I am trying this out this weekend…wish me luck.
- There are other physical forces at work. Sometimes health issues can halt us in our tracks. Hormones, illness, depression, stress etc. A great example is the wish to improve nutrition. The ability to do some of the actions around this can be influenced by the hormones in the body. Will power will never overcome hormones. The key here is to deal with all physical issues. In a way this is about getting strong (the first point) so you can tackle what you need. Get professional help here, have a Doctor appointment, see a nutritionist get whatever help you need to put your body right. Also when in doubt get a check up, sometimes we can’t see the problem because we are so deep in it.
Do you think this is a simplification? Would you add anything to this list? Anyone have anything to help me with my journey(today I shoveled like a mad woman due to the snow, it had to be done but also meant I didn’t get my to do list done, was this avoidance or real I guess I will see what gets done tomorrow)? Is there a point here that you in your mind agreed with be it kinda spooked you that it was there and not there is no excuse?
I would love to hear what you think…oh guess what we are still working with the POW (philosophy of wellness, watch the video) of awareness.