3 things I tell everyone with chronic pain

Every story is unique, so I don’t usually have a one-size-fits-all message for everyone I work with. But there are three truths I find myself sharing with almost every client living with chronic pain and looking for ways to manage it.

If you’re in that chronic pain club, you know how confusing and isolating it can feel. So many people I work with have been told their scans are “normal” or that their pain is “all in their head.”

Every single time, I want to shout: your pain is real, and it matters. Honestly, I even have to remind myself of this sometimes.

These three truths won’t magically erase your pain, but they can shift your perspective and give you a bit more control over your journey.

1️⃣ Your pain is real: Living with chronic pain

All pain is real. I cannot stress this enough. Even if tests show nothing, or if friends and family don’t see what you feel, your experience is valid. I had a client who lived with low back pain for over a decade, and no one could explain why. Doctors ran tests and told her everything looked “normal,” and friends suggested she was exaggerating or imagining it. She began to doubt herself and her own body.

When we worked together, I first validated her experience and acknowledged that her pain was real and her frustration was justified. Then we created a plan for gentle movement, practical coping strategies, and ways to listen to her body without fear.

Over time, the physical relief was meaningful, but what she told me meant even more: she had regained trust in her own body, confidence in her experience, and the peace of finally being believed.

2️⃣ Pain does not always mean damage: Why pain isn’t always injury

Pain isn’t always a perfect measure of injury. Sometimes it’s like a smoke alarm going off because the toast is burning—annoying and loud, but not always dangerous.

Your neck and shoulders might ache after staring at a computer for a stressful work project, even if nothing is injured… though sometimes there could be an underlying issue. Your nervous system, stress, and past experiences all shape how pain shows up. Understanding this doesn’t make it any less real, and it can open the door to healing that goes beyond the body.

3️⃣ Your story matters: How sharing your pain can help

Chronic pain isn’t just a list of symptoms. It’s your history, your wins, your struggles, the exhaustion of pretending you’re fine, and the moments that still make you laugh. I’ve worked with clients who felt invisible in every medical appointment until someone finally took the time to hear their full story. When you share that story, it gives providers vital context and gives you ownership over your healing journey.

Living with chronic pain is hard, but these truths can help you feel seen, supported, and more in control. You deserve care that sees all of you, not just a pain score on a 0–10 scale.

🫶🏻 Need a little more support?

👉🏻 I hang out on YouTube sharing honest conversations about chronic pain and healing.
👉🏻 And if you want people who really get it, come join my free Circle community—it’s a place to share, connect, and feel less alone.